Paper Notes v2.0 #19

Paper Note v2 - 19

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The Happiest man on Earth?

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Antony Fartey was ten when he first felt as he was feeling now. His face was pale and he was sweating as though his body was nothing but a shower. His light blue shirt had sweat marks at armpit, at shoulder and at collarbone. The air conditioned atmosphere of his cosy cabin had no effect on him. He looked restless and troubled. He loosened the tie and closed the lid of his laptop. He went back on his chair and tried to relax. He closed his eyes and wished this would get over, very soon.

No, he was in no state to bear it. He stood up and walked two rounds in his office. He opened the gate of his cabin and went towards the washroom, two cabins away. He was about to enter there when a guard stopped him. ‘Sir, there’s some plumbing work going on, No one can use the washroom today.’

Antony cursed the man whose face he saw when he woke up in morning. That was a threatening situation for him. He called his secretary and asked her to cancel all his today’s appointments. He started to run in the corridor, slipped twice and dashed two persons in his way and did not even care to apologise. Entire office looked at him in disbelief. He had realised that he had a very little time left. He took the elevator, entered in and pressed minus-one button. Elevator accelerated down quickly, became steady then decelerated till it stopped at parking. Antony could feel every single movement happening to and in his body. He reached to his car and entered in there, took some deep breathes and pushed the accelerator hard enough that tyres made two skid marks on pavement. On his way he jumped four red lights and almost killed a man and his wife who were crossing the road.

After some fifteen minutes of reckless driving when he reached his apartment, his legs were trembling. They were weak and strained.  He opened the gate. His dog jumped on him and licked his hand. His wife looked worried when she saw him in that condition. Antony pushed both of them and went straight to the washroom.

Ten minutes later when he came out, his wife had swathed her face with a thick cloth and was spraying room freshener at everywhere. His dog was barking like an animal that just had gone crazy. The entire apartment was filled with obnoxious smell of human excreta. And amid all of this, Antony Fartey was standing at the washroom gate, his hand on his stomach, a heartfelt smile on his lips. Antony Fartey was perhaps the happiest man on the earth.

4 icebreakers to use on girls: Mondays with Abhishek #3

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It’s 11:30 pm already. I am afraid I won’t come up with something for this Monday. Or wait ?? 
Boys, I present to you a list of icebreakers. 
Gear up.

1) hey! I am new in this town. I have this five-beautiful-thing-to-watch list. I don’t understand why am I not seeing you in this.

2) hey angel! I am glad you are back from the paradise.

3) Can I have your photograph for my calendar? You would turn my December into June.

4) Are you free to watch or government has put tickets on you?

Third Degree : Mondays with Abhishek #2

Electric chair, nails mining, eyes damage were the forms of third degree. Very effective. Though I have discovered a new method of torture yet I warn you not to read and execute. Dare to have a look.

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Imagine this; you are in a dark empty room, sitting on a chair at the centre. Your hands are tied behind the chair and your eyelids are forcefully gummed to your forehead. Forced to watch. A guy enters in the room with a tv set and put it in front to you. He walks out, leaving you alone with the tv. You wonder what is about to happen. Suddenly tv is switched on and a female voice coming from it hits your eardrum. It sounds familiar. As you frighteningly turn your eyes to tv, you look at the screen flashing ‘Sasural Simar Ka’ Oh fuck! You are dead.

You quiver your body but the knot is tight on your hand. You try to close your eyes but adhesive don’t allow. You are trapped, my son. Like a fish. You scream, scream for help but there would be nobody but Simar and her sister. Beautiful and distressing. They will cry. You will cry. They will laugh. You will cry.

And then at the end when you would be discharging bubbles from your mouth, and your eyes would be emitting blood and you would be dead like a small insect in the merciless desert. The same familiar voice would sing ‘Sasural Simar Ka’!! 

Happy Mondays: Mondays with Abhishek #1

Happy Mondays

Hello Readers,

This is Abhishek Dixit from The Author’s Blog and today is, perhaps, the most disheartening day of the week, Monday. Boring. Unexciting. But you know what the worse is- it comes again. But I have taken the pledge. ‘From this Monday I will be here with a post on every Monday ensuring to put a smile on your face by one way or other.’

So today I am here with a post ‘Happy Mondays: if you know the right way’. I have brought down few interesting facts and stats about Mondays from the internet and interpreted in my way and provided a solution of it. Have a look. 🙂

Most People don’t crack a smile on Monday till 11:16AM.

Ask someone to tickle your side belly. Forget smile, you will laugh. You will laugh your heart out. Trust me, I have tested it. It felt good.

Fifty percent people find it difficult to get off bed in morning.

Buy an alarm clock saying ‘Karan Johar is lying next to you, naked.’
It works for both genders. They both jolt. In case if it doesn’t work try it with Tushar kapoor, Justin Bieber and Kamal R Khan.

Sixty percent people don’t make love at Monday night.

Get Mila Kunis or Magan Fox. You will do it 24×7. If not possible, find the available cheap alternatives like Rakhi Sawant or anything which have five fingers (preferable).

17% of suicides happen on Monday.

Now I don’t believe in this stat because watching Suryvansham yet again on Set Max on Monday afternoon doesn’t count as suicide. It would have been hiked to 71% otherwise.

SUDHI KANNAN: AN ELEPHANTIC ADVENTURE… BY KRISHNA

REVIEW NO. 26

Title : Sudhi Kannan: An Elephantic Adventure
Author : Krishna
Pages : 292
Genre : Fiction
Publisher : Blackbuck Publication

RATINGS :

Cover : 3.5/5
Blurb : 4/5
Theme : 3.5/5
Story : 3/5
Dialogues : 3.5/5
Overall : 3.5/5

TAB’S OVERVIEW

The office work got hectic for Kannan and school was getting problematic. They both needed a day out to enjoy life as father and son only so they decided to bunk from their normal life.

On the other hand terrorist team is forwarding toward the mumbai coast. They are being leaded by a man called Boss who has the power of hypnotising anyone coming on his way.

Terrorists, Sudhi and Kannan, all have a same destination where a whole new adventure is waiting to be revealed in front of them, and the place is Elephanta Caves.

Boss is unstoppable, his plan is full proof but, he didn’t expect that a little notorious kid will ruin everything he had prepared.

BEAUTY

  • The plot.
  • Comic expressions.
  • Sudhi’s notorious activities. Example: His encounter with his Maths teacher.
  • Chemistry between Pooja and Sudhi.
  • Twist and turns.
  • Kannan as a dad.
  • Comic writing style.
  • Blurb.

BEAST

  • The Shijon centered story running in the school when Sudhi was having fun at island. They were just increasing the length of the book unnecessarily.
  • End was boring and predictable.
  • After intermission, story losses its pace.
  • End remained unexplained. Story ends in a hurry.

SANDY’S VIEW

I read the blurb and almost fell in love with the concept. that was great and had so much of scope. When i started reading the book i really got impressed by the author. he is innovative with his ideas and writing style as well.
Talking about character Sudhi, he is notorius and lovable too. Sudhi and his father Kannan looked great as a duo.
All the chapters before elephanta caves were awesome and in turn raised the expectation bars for me too. Then came the terrorists group in the story and their journey till the caves. That also was interesting and sometimes hilarious too.
I was almost glued with the book till the intermission and unfortunately after the intermission story totally fells apart. Everything seemed predictable and boring.
I was expecting a lot in the end but the book finish up with many strings yet to be connected. I felt disappointed with Sudhi’s character in the end. I wanted something hilarious to happen in the end but nothing really happened.
In the end I would like to say that overall the story is good and worth your money. It is hilarious to read.